It’s Hard Being a Snobbish Music Appreciator

I have always been proud of my exquisite musical taste. Oh please, with playlists like this and this (please note that I always skip the Nickelback songs – I have a reputation to maintain) as my everyday jam, absolutely nothing can go wrong.

This is why my classy ass really looooooveeesss Eurovision. I devoured all of the videos on the Eurovision playlist on Youtube (which of course I subscribed) I know most of the songs during the 1990s-2010s period – not just the winning ones. I can even sing the words to most songs (admittedly I make up about 97.54% of the words but still..). In short, I am totally obsessed with Eurovision. I love most parts of it, the theatrical parts, the fun parts, the boring parts, the cheesy parts, the gay parts (especially the gay parts), the pitchy parts, the ridiculous parts, the campy parts, everything is glorious to me, yes, even the talking puppet part. It’s not just a song contest. It’s the definition to the word “fabulous” (or maybe just in my head).

Well, how did it all start, you might ask (or maybe that’s just in my head too). My younger self came across this song during my journey to become the connoisseur of 1990s and early 2000s campy songs. You can see from the crystal clear 1080p HD-quality, big-budgeted video why the younger me was intrigued about the song and I was totally shocked!!!!!!! to know that the song was originally sung by Teach-In, a Dutch band in the 1975 Eurovision. I was so in love with the song that I had both the English version and the Dutch version in my iPod Nano. And that, my friends, is the point where my love for Eurovision started to blossom. Thank you Teach-In and Models for introducing me to this glorious mess.

There’s a problem with being an Asian Eurovision fan though. Since this shit is in Europe, like its football matches, all Semi-Finals and Finals only start at 2.45 – 3.00 a.m. Luckily my ass is jobless now, or I would have come late(-r) than I usually did. My love for Eurovision trumps almost all. Almost. As someone who is just and fair and always sensible (all those times of me shoving unhealthy tricks like chocolate cakes and ice-creams down my throat while watching shits at 3.00 a.m, be it football, Eurovision, etc or just because I’m a fatass don’t count), I am not blind to all the political and creepy shenanigans behind the vote-buying and all that stuff. Just watch this video.

Hmmmm, does Ilham Aliyev remind you of someone? You know, someone whose name rhymes with Mazip? And I think after watching it for the second time, the situation in Azerbaijan gives off a very North Korea-y vibe to me.

Okay I have digressed from my main point. Now back to the campy part.

There are songs and performances that I sincerely love, be it ironically and un-ironically. Can I show you a list? Of course I have a list pshhhhaw. Oops scratch that, I have 2 lists.

These are 8 campy, cheesy performances (apart from Ding-a-Dong) that are synonymous with Eurovision and I un-ashamedly have in all of my playlists in no particular order. This list and the other one only contain songs from 2000 because I’m about to overdose from all the awesomeness and my body can only take so much.

  1. Montenegro 2013 (I’m still bitter this song didn’t make it to the final. There were 2 freaking astronauts singing a rap song with questionable dubstep beat thrown in, what more did the voters want?)
  2.  Romania 2013 (Okay I lied. This glorious vampire’s performance was a visual feast, but my ears couldn’t take all the falsetto)
  3.  Ukraine 2007 (I find myself singing this song at odd times, such as when I’m driving or watching TV).
  4. France 2014 (because everything sounds meaningful in French. He might be singing about eating cheap ramen and I will still think the song has a profound meaning behind it)
  5. Belarus 2014 (because his English accent is funny to me hahahaha)
  6. Austria 2003 (umm yeahhhh I don’t know what happened there either)
  7. Latvia 2008 (I lied about this too. This is bad actually hahaha)
  8. Moldova 2005 (that grandma just sitting there is glorious)

And 2 from this year.

  1. San Marino (I truly hoped that it would go through just for shits and giggles but I guess Europe didn’t get his awesomeness. Those backup singers were pretty good though).
  2.  Belarus (dude was naked! And there were wolves! Hahahahah I also hoped for this to go through just to see the people who take this seriously to get apoplectic but sigh, my hopes were dashed)

And these are 8 serious songs that I actually find tolerable (a.k.a I love them to death but too ashamed to say so)

  1. Estonia 2015 (because I’m shallow and I think the male singer is hot)
  2.  Sweden 2012 (this song goes against everything I believe in, but it really is good)
  3. Finland 2014 (this song prompted me to illegally download their whole album, and yes, the album is good too).
  4. Israel 2013  (no snark, I think this song is absolutely lovely. That hair, on the other hand….)
  5. Germany 2007  (Roger Cicero died earlier this year because of stroke. RIP to him)
  6. Greece 2013 (this song satires the Greek economic situation and that makes it a win in my book)
  7. Montenegro 2015 (because this is sung in a language that I don’t understand and I find it exotic)
  8. Belgium 2015 (because I really like this song)

And this is the song that I like the most this year, mostly because she’s cute and wears pretty dresses and I’m shallow.

So! Now you know that I take Eurovision very seriously. And what does this have anything to do with a travel blog? I don’t know either but the final is today yeayyyy and this is the most important thought that my mind burped out this entire week. My Zoe won’t win though, because I believe it might be a 3-way competition between Spain, Russia, and Italy.

I should tell you that I have always wanted to experience the Eurovision. I want to be there, in the stadium and watch this glorious mess right before my eyes. I bet it’ll be the gayest thing I’ll ever experience and that might just be the best thing ever.

Since I need to post photos, here are a few.

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A cathedral in Bruges. I went there in 2012.
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A random statue in Guangzhou

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I took a coffee class in Jakarta last year

And that is all for now.

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